I am so at a loss as to what to do right now. We have been married 8 years and I knew when we got married that my husband had been diagnosed bi-polar and had a previous suicide attempt. He was unmedicated when we met though previously had been on prozac and lithium. Everything was great for 5 years, but now his moods change so fast and he is so angry and refuses to recognize the problem and drinks daily. I left him 2 months ago because his anger was so hurtful. My intention was to protect myself emotionally and work on the marriage....but he doesn't like marriage counseling and refuses to recognize either his alcoholism or his need for medication and I am just begging God to help us! I really, really just want to run away and not look back, but I am a christian and used to love my husband very much. I suppose I still do....though I don't know who he is any more or what to expect on a daily basis. I'm tired of everything being my fault and I really, really can't stand the anger...his words just tear me up. Any suggestions as to how I can help him and save our marriage? Thank you...thank you for being here.

john 3:16
First let me give you a ((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))). It is very very difficult to deal with someone that is in denial. I feel for you. One of the things that I would recommend is checking to see if there is a local DBSA Support group in your local area. I attend one and they are very helpful. The reason why your husband is drinking everyday is because he is self-medicating himself and that is not a good thing to do for people with Bipolar. I am in the process of waiting for my husband to respond to me to get advice from a supporter stand point. Hang in there.

Also just keep praying and stay close to the Lord. God will never leave you. With your husband being in denial and not taking the proper treatment he may have to hit rock bottom and then realize he needs help

Thank you. I'm sure you can help me immensely by understanding and I will read every thread in this forum so it can help me have some patience. My prayers gave me some peace today and I was able to be kind and patient with dh during a dinner visit we just had together. Thank you God! We needed a few peaceful moments together. I would love to know about a support group in my area. Our marriage counselor has suggested to ME privately that I go to Alanon but I have yet to get there. I even know the meeting place and time. But I think the depression is the first issue to address (I guess) because like you said....it's the alcohol that he is using BECAUSE of the depression symptoms.

That is ok. DBSA is for Depression and Bipolar. They also deal with people with a Substance abuse. Such as people that self medicate with alcohol.
Admin

John 3:16 and her husband

Thanks, Sherryl, for posting that! I was looking at him like I was so in love! We have to save that!!!

Just call me Sherry.

Tonight was really hard because I had some expectations of my husband that he couldn't meet. I thought MAYBE I could get back home for Christmas with our daughter, but apparently not. I hurt his feelings though I'm not entirely sure how, but he was crying hysterically and I just couldn't take it and left.

So I have to forgive myself and remember from Whom my strength and faith is in and from. I've been humming and singing this song all week:

"My Hope is Built on Nothing Less"
by Edward Mote, 1797-1874

1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

As beautiful as those words are and as much as I believe in them and in Him...I still screw up and still want earthly things and still have selfish feelings. Hey, I'm human! One day I will be glorified standing before the throne! So I guess my daughter and I will go ahead and decorate a Christmas tree at our new place. It is just really odd to have two people in so much pain..wanting to have a marriage restored and not knowing how to do it. Is there a praying smiley here?

Hi John 3:16. Sherry has already said what I was going to say.
I am keeping you and your hubby in prayer.
HUGS AND ANGELKISSES!!

Thank you, Angelkiss... It's nice to meet you. I hope you have a wonderful day.

My heart goes out to you!!!! I'm sending hugs too!!!! Denial is the hardest part. I can tell you still care deeply about your husband. I pray God will give you wisdom as to what to do and say to him , and I will also pray He will give you lots of comfort and peace.


April

April,
Good to see you. Yes it does show that John 3:16 still loves her husband. My husband is going to be reading a book called Loving someone with Bipolar.
We will let you know how it is. It is a book for people that care for people that have Bipolar.
Sherr

I thought I made a post here earlier this morning! Hmmmmm.....

Well, anyway, dh was very angry last night. I just don't know how to help him out of denial.

John 3:16
Just pray for him and you stay close to the Lord. He may have to hit rock bottom before he sees his need for help.

Hang in there!!! Remember God knows where you are and He will not leave you alone.
Denial is a tough thing to break through.

Still praying....
April